Top 5 Cartoon Goodies

If you remember some time back I did a post on my Top 5 cartoon villains of all time… It was a great list… It was a proud list. A list that needed to be followed up with an equally awesome top 5 of cartoon goodguys (or goodpeople if you want to be politically correct).

I spent most of this weekend- lying around, being full and watching cartoons (super sick for the waistline)- in my heavily involved spot of couch surfing, I managed to catch a couple of re-runs of some of my favourite cartoons. Considering that I chose a top 5 of cartoon villains I decided that it was only right to choose my fave main cartoon characters of all time based on a series of very strict rules that I just made up right now.

At the number 5 spot we’ve got the super awesome salty seadog by the name of Popeye-

Lets be honest here- the guy was punching way above his weight-class. Granted that Olive Oil (stupid name) wasn’t exactly the most fetching of maidens- he still managed to mack her with that weird accent and one closed eye. She probably wasn’t worth all of the effort, regardless of this Popeye still put in all the work. Olive would frequently hook up with that rather large and leery looking big Bruno guy, every single time that she got the chance- which I take offense to- its not always the huge guy who wins the pot- sometimes its the just below average height guy with a massive penis and literary skills that should win prizes that gets the girl. And lets highlight the fact that all Popeye ever needed was a can of spinach to whip all kinds of ass… If only those Springbok rugby players who were banned for doping had known that all they needed was to chow some leafy vegetables straight out of a rusty can to get massive arms *sigh*.

Occupying the number 4 spot on my list is Spongebob Squarepants-

I included this guy because honestly I just feel sorry for him. With episodes entitled Sleepy Time, Something Smells & Bossy Boots spewed out of the feverish imaginings of some crazy marine biologist come creator Stephen Hillenburg, good old Spongebob often finds himself in the most ridiculous of situations in the fictional underwater city of “Bikini Bottom”. He has a very strong moral compass- holds down a steady job and can make some killer crabby patties (the one time that this is a good thing to have). Also there is the fact that he has square pants and lives in a pineapple under the sea, if that doesn’t qualify you for the list then I don’t know. Laden with sexual references that make all the kiddies want to explore bisexuality with their action man and barbie dolls, he is a perfect example of a modern cartoon character created with the adult audience in mind along with that. Apart from being Nickelodeon’s highest ever rated show he has a movie- and that must count for something.

At the number 3 spot- yet another star of both the idiot box & silver screen (tv & flim for all of you that never listened at school) , we’ve got the super naughty but ultra cool- Bart Simpson.

A hero of an entire generation, Bart Simpson was the kid that we all wanted to be. Effortlessly cool, always in trouble and armed with a way with words that was second to none he really was an epic cartoon character. With phrases like Eat My Shorts and cowabunga dude, Bart Simpson has sold countless merchandise with his Bartmania craze which swept the world during the early 90′s. Deep down he was actually a really good kid who just liked to be a bit naughty (much like us all).  On top of that he also stars in his own series of cartoon porn movies (which is weird because he’s supposed to be like 11 or something).

At the penultimate spot on my list of Space Ghost (rather witty incarnation- sense of humour- sarcastic- has a ray gun- has enslaved Zorak- Moltar controlling the stations- capable of interviewing peeps- saving the world during the 60′s.

Space Ghost is a fictional superhero created by Hanna-Barbera Productions the CBS network in the 1960s. He started out as a superhero who, with his sidekick teen helpers Jan, Jace and Blip the monkey, fought supervillains in outer space, but the reason why I have included space ghost in this list is because of his more recent adventures as a fictional late-night talk show host on Cartoon Network and Adult Swim and revamped in a DC Comics mini-series. He has a rather sarcastic sense of humour and a rather impressive array of superhuman powers, Space Ghost has also managed to enslave one-time villains Zorak (a giant Praying Mantis or Locust, depending on the particular episode) and Moltar (a lava creature inside a metal suit)- a cartoon character with a firm grasp of intergalactic labour law.

And then my number 1 spot- is the freaking awesome… Speedy Gonzales.

He is a Mexican mouse who is really fast. How fast you ask? Well Speedy is “The Fastest Mouse in all of Mexico” and has an equally festive Mexican accent. He usually wears an oversized yellow sombrero, white shirt and trousers, and a red kerchief and managed to get the uber famous Sylvester the Cat as co-star. Speedy frequently saved his rat cousins at the Cheese Factory amid cries of “Ándale! Ándale! Arriba! Arriba!” (Spanish for “Go on! Go on! Up! Up!).

In 1999, the Cartoon Network ceased to air Speedy Gonzales. In an interview to Fox News on March 28, 2002, Cartoon Network spokeswoman Laurie Goldberg commented, “It hasn’t been on the air for years because of its ethnic stereotypes.” They’re probably referring to Speedy’s fellow mice, who are all shown as being very slow and lazy, and sometimes even appear intoxicated. This is particularly true of Speedy’s cousin, Slowpoke Rodriguez, who is exceptionally slow and lazy. Slowpoke is also known to carry a gun. Bloody Mexicans.

That was my list… Anymore good guy cartoon characters that you remember?? It was super hard to choose my top 5!!

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