The Big F

I think for the very first time that I’ve ever been single, I’ve completely embraced the lifestyle.

With this way of life comes the freedom to use ‘what your mamma gave ya’, and boy have I been MAXIMISING.

NB INFO FOR MEN – There’s something AMAZING that happens within a woman, when she discovers a certain ‘self love’. A wave of ‘super woman’ rushes over us, and we’re more than keen to try all the daring and adventurous stuff that we’d once kept locked in our secret little chamber.

I’m young, beautiful, funny and charming, so surely I can allow myself to enjoy the playful banter and attention from the opposite sex? Aaaahhh flirting – the subtle dance of…? Now that’s the actual issue! 

It got me to thinking, why do we as woman, stop flirting once we’re in a committed relationship? We close off! We stop accepting the compliments and we dare not be friendly to the opposite sex. It’s an unspoken sense of guilt that flows over us.

Ever noticed how that fiery minx, you fell in love with, suddenly starts doubting herself? She becomes timid. Doesn’t dress as sexy anymore? Becomes more aware of her body flaws? I’m telling you! It’s because we stop the seductive game of flirting!

Yet, guys don’t…

Now before you think I’m generalizing, I did do my touch of investigating.

I asked a few guys their opinions on the subject. Basically around the context of flirting, what it means to them, and how they feel about flirting while dating someone.

First there’s flirting. The over the counter, friendly, dropping a sly hint here or there flash of a pure white smile, but never going to go any further than the drink you bought me flirting.

Then there’s Flirting. The suggestive hand on her hip, brush of her knee against yours all too deliberately, and finally groping and kissing Flirting.

Finally the FLIRTING – when all you need to decide is who’s place you’ll heading to when last rounds are called.

I’m relieved to say; mostly everyone loves the big ‘F’ :)

But once again, lines and opinions are obscured.

Majority of the guys seem to think that flirting is harmless, and that you should never stop doing it. HOWEVER! When I asked how they’d feel about their other half flirting with another guy, they had to pause and rethink their original answer. While it might not apply to everyone, most guys said they would be jealous. Mmm…

I have honestly come to the finding, that flirting to an extent is very healthy.

I’m actually quite upset and disappointed that in the past I didn’t allow myself to carry on with the simple waltz. The steps are so simple! You can flirt, without it actually leading to anything more than giving that gentle ego boost.

The problem arises when you stop doing it, and expect your partner to do the same, even if they still crave that attention. Let’s face it, when your partner tells you, you look amazing, you sometimes feel like they HAVE to say it… when it comes from a complete stranger, you know there is truth behind the words.

If you are in a trusting partnership, then no amount of flirting could upset you, right?

NOW here is the snag.  Where do you draw the line?

DUH!!!

If you wouldn’t do it in front of your other half, then you sure as hell shouldn’t be doing it when they’re not there!

All I know is, I’ve charged up my flirt! Feels like I’m carrying a tazor, and I’m SO not afraid to test the wattage!

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7 Comments

  1. DomeniqueD says:

    And here I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I say no harm in a little innocent flirting or being “friendly”. It makes you feel alive, esxy and appreicated. And sometimes gets you free stuff too! :p

  2. Hannah says:

    Great article, and so true. One feels like a partner says it because they know they ought to, and not because they were necessarily dazzled by you in that moment. While when a complete stranger pays you a complement, it’s often unprompted.

  3. Chrisk says:

    Flirting FTW :) Think it is healthy and a great test for any relationship. If ur partner is gonna cheat rather find out sooner than later…

  4. Onaj says:

    Flirting is great, and I feel that the line should be drawn where you wouldn’t your partner doing that to you… But flirting is important, it builds character :)

  5. Liesl says:

    @DomeniqueD – it gets you a LOT of free stuff :)
    @ChrisK – the point is to prove that you are in fact flirting innocently, and that the intentions aren’t there to cheat.

    Super glad you guys got some useful tips out of the article! Yayness!

  6. Dylan Moore says:

    @Liesl if I had tits it would be over…Count yourself lucky you have those weapons ;)

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