Style — March 14, 2012 at 11:00

Mantyhose and the death of Men

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Male pantyhose or Mantyhose, as they’re known in the biz are the latest in metrosexual trends being adopted by men across the globe. Sure, Robin Hood probably wore tights very similar to these when he was stealing from the rich and giving to the poor but is it really necessary for us modern guys to revisit the trend just so that we can prove to everyone how comfortable we are with our sexuality?

After Kahn from The Parlotones used Manscara to display how emotionally vulnerable he was, it made it ok for other South African guys who were equally in touch with their emotions to rock Manscara on the daily. It is most likely these very people who will add to their murses (man-purses) and manscara by rocking a very trendy pair of mantyhose while popping down to the local organic market. I do consider myself to be a Beckham-esque metrosexual guy and generally don’t have any issues with guys taking a little bit of extra care in their appearance before facing the world every morning, but I really do think that this is taking it a little bit too far.

Being metrosexual is in part about advocating acceptance for men who wish to indulge in products or attitudes around grooming and dress that were previously reserved for women only. Basically it’s like having all the fabulous perks of being gay without having to suck off another guy. But mantyhose? Really? Ask most women and they’ll tell you that further than keeping one or two unsightly bulges or varicose veins hidden, all that pantyhose are good for are getting hooked on things or falling down your legs. Why on earth would any guy possibly want to wear them?

The upside to wearing mantyhose is that they could keep your legs warm under your pants if you were say… caught in a tundra and there was a real risk of your balls freezing solid and falling off.

The downside is that you look like you are a doos walking through the streets in your French Middle Ages, play costume.

The fashion-forward Europeans have already cottoned onto the idea with Franceso Cavallini, vice president of Emilio Cavallini of Florence, Italy, telling Women’s Wear Daily:

there’s “a cult following for mantyhose”, men are now wearing them for warmth under clothing and for added comfort at home, though with the release of more patterned items like skulls.

Cavallini continues:

“The mantyhose are extremely elastic and stretchable and can fit men comfortably at the top. If it’s fine for Italian guys, it’s fine for the world.”

Personally I think this one is going to be a hard sell for any guy other than the one who is so obsessed with metrosexuality and making a statement that he would wear mantyhose (even though they would be lank uncomfortable given the fact that you have balls and a penis). One day we’ll look back at Mantyhoses as one of the biggest fashion disasters of modern times, much like buffalos or shoulder pads.

Metrosexual or not, would you go home with a man wearing mantyhose?

6 Comments

  1. I can’t wait to see how this catches on in Iraq…

  2. Mantyhose can be worn in a totally manly way. Men decorated their legs similarly for centuries. It’s fun, it’s elegant, it’s comfortable and even has health benefits. And yes, it’s a suprising look – as surprising as ladies in trousers could be a few decades ago. See more, and tasteful, images at our website.

    • Thanks for the comment Chan- maybe I’m wrong and this will one day considered to be the norm. I’m just not there yet :)

    • Oh Chan. Cahn, Cha, Chan. You flaming hipster. I’m all for being comfortable with your sexuality, except when someones trying to sell me “the pillock” look. When men were ‘decorating’ their legs way back in the day, it was also cool to sleep with your sister or your cousin, so its fair to say common sense hadn’t evolved yet, kinda like your common sense. Grow a pair dude, if you are able.

  3. Jesus save us!

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