KittyKat… she’s not cynical at all :)
Hey everyone- in our ever persistent search for the best young blog writing talent out there we’re giving a shot to KittyKat… Here’s a little something that she put together for us this morning… She’s a little cynical- but then again who isnt? 
Let us know what you think!
So once again it is a dreaded Monday morning and I am not pleased to say that the FIFA world cup fever is filtering in. You see, it’s not that I’m not patriotic or anything, it’s just that all these unpatriotic morons who complain about the country all the time are wearing these stupid SA flags on their car mirrors. What’s even better is the fact that when you buy this awesome pair of flags (through a street vendor), put them on your car mirrors, you can expect to find them “missing” or stolen from your car about 2 days later. It seems (from what I’ve heard/seen) that the vendors steal back these flags in parking lots to re-sell to their next victim. NOW HOW IS THAT FOR SA PATRIOTISM!!!
In addition to this, the thought of some idiot (usually the local bergie who lives at the bottom of my road) blowing a Vuvuzela so enthusiastically at 5am on a Sunday morning, is only encouragement for me to take out a moulding apple and throw it at his head. Some patriotic morons would say that the blasting of a Vuvuzela is by far better than a bergie’s usual banter with his wife concerning how she finished all the mentholated spirits without him? Well for me, it really is a toss up. But once again, as I said, it’s not that I’m not patriotic or anything.
Oh but wait there’s more. You know that highway in Cape Town that was built years ago and never finished (the one where if you take the wrong turn you could end up driving off it?) Well, Cape Town is so clever, because now, 30 years later, they have decided to take this safety hazard into their own hands and block the edge of it off with a crass looking 20 meter vuvuzela. It’s so big that I’m sure only Julius Malema’s big head could blow such a thing. Oh and don’t forget, of course it is sponsored by the Chinese. Thanks China, you can now secretly bring in another 1000 truck loads of your people into our country without anyone complaining, how’s that for pure patriotism ey?
Now that I think about it we may actually need these illegal foreigners in our country so that they can help us import all our SA fifa world cup consumables which were made in China. Wow, you see, Africans do have foresight. I mean what would we do without our car mirror flags, our life size Zakumi the lion (oh s*** sorry, leopard) Mascot toys or even our vuvuzelas made by exploited Chinese children? Wow, all of this makes me so proud!
But alas there is good news (and to be honest I don’t know how long this will last): THE ROADS ARE EMPTY!!! It seems that everyone has gone on leave/left the country, as driving into the centre of the city this morning was pleasant for once. It was so pleasant that I think I only swore out loud once… can you believe it? And to make it better I don’t even think I used the F word. This may be the only positive experience I have of this “once in a life time event”. Maybe if I am lucky and Fifa did a good enough job, I will be able to enjoy this luxury for the next world cup month to come. Oh please South Africa throw me a bone, for I promise I am not, not patriotic and no traffic will be something to celebrate.
KittyKat xox
