Falling in love isn’t what it used to be. It was once a leisurely stroll along a pearly beach, the soft embrace of her hand upon yours as the sun carelessly drops beneath the horizon, your lips touching, deep breathing, passionate coitus upon silk sheets with a light breeze and the aromatic fragrance of rose [...]
Category: "Stroob"
“The South African Mob: fighting crime and killing stuff”
Its funny how my idea of “mob justice” has been morphed, prodded and influenced by Francis Ford Coppola movies. I envision a Southern Italian with an ironic flower nickname like Bobby “the daffodil” Puccini giving concrete swimming shoes to a police informant, and then celebrating with a bowl of Spaghetti Napolitano. But this stereotype has [...]
F*ck South Africa!
Our glorious Rainbow Nation, filled to the brim with an eclectic melting pot of kif okes, sweet babes and vuil naais. But there isn’t one singular collective that encompasses all and sundry; for instance I can smell a Joburger from twenty paces, and its not just due to the mandatory 2 cans of Axe body [...]
Stop What You Are Doing & Watch This!
http://youtu.be/qqhlfz9GQPE
Seriously, stop what you doing and watch this. These guys have got some massive balls to do this. Adrenalin pumping stuff!
Would you cryogenically freeze yourself?
Every young child enamoured with his or her own imagination dreams of many things: Flying, space travel, three-way sex with that chick from Isidingo and a moustached Ron Weasley (okay too personal). Yet since Dr. Emmet Brown reached 88mph in “Back To The Future” , there is an infatuation with time travel unrivalled. Steven Hawkings’ [...]
Stop Making Me Apologise For Being White
Its hard being a highly educated white male in a contemporary South African social order. At the tender age of 8, the ANC became a governing force, liberating this young author and the land upon which he lived. The world rejoiced, the people cheered and I eventually learned how to conjugate a verb. I grew [...]
Hi My Name’s Alcoholic and I’m a Stroob
I’m going to preface this literary tour-de-force by acknowledging I’m breaking the first holy grail of AA. That one that preludes the 1st of the twelve steps: “Thou shalt not bequeath upon souls the events that doth occur in Alcoholics Anonymos meetings”. So first up was Brad, a blue eyed blonde haired Architect from [...]
Homophobia Is The New Racism
At the moment, in our glorious tip of a dark and dreary continent, we have Julius Malema and Steve Hofmeyer. Two talented “young” men who are doing as much for race-relations as Hitler did for yarmulke sales. These intellectual juggernauts are in a perpetual tantrum of race based folly, and, to be honest, they’re [...]
Blue Crush… 2!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6atBtskxtw
So as some of you may know, our esteemed contributor and part time knee model Stroob is a big time heavy weight in Cape Town’s Film Industry. His lack of moral standing and continuous nagging has resulted in us being forced to put up his latest offering to the world of features. Blue Crush [...]
What Is The Coolest Way To Die
I’ve never been conscious of death. I’ve never known the pain it causes. The rippling effect of dissension for the most certain act of life, its end, has a long reaching sphere that can touch people quite distant from the deceased. Its irreversible, definite and cause of the greatest fear in human existence. However my [...]
Review| Skews Me on Broadway
Raymond Hitchcock once said that a man isn’t poor if he has laughter. This suited us just perfectly on Thursday night when Kreg and I ventured to our good buddy Dylan Skews’s new one man show at “On Broadway”. We were broke, but according to ‘ol Ray Ray we were bathing in riches, because [...]
Speed Dating for Dummies/Prudes
Theres a refined skill to courting a woman in three minutes, hell theres a refined skill in courting a fair maiden in 3 months… and that’s if you have a 7 figure income, a boat, a butler named Gabriel and a 10 inch dong. So when Monday night’s World record speed dating extravaganza reared its [...]
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