Category: "Stroob"

Interview| Siopis

For over 10 years Jannis Siopis has been bending minds and souls to his unique blend of electronically warped musical wizardry. And, as the sun sets on a season of sumptuous outdoor adventures, he graces the main stage at Make Believe, one of Cape Town’s foremost house tableaus. Whether you are familiar or not, the […]

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5 South Africans That Would Be a Better President Than Zuma

As a majestic 21st century sovereign state, 3 things are clear in abundance when it comes to South Africa. Firstly, never purchase Debonairs circa 2am from the Orange Street Engen. Secondly, actually buying a piece of the Parlotones’ musical wizardry is grounds for euthanasia. And thirdly, but largely the most glaring, is that Jacob Zuma […]

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Why You Definitely Shouldn’t Go To #CTEMF2014

Once a year the electronic matriarch of the Mother City casts her wing over the greater Cape Town community and forges a truly unique experience. The highest echelons of electronic music come together and create a musical symphony likened to Super Mario playing a Beethoven Concerto while getting a blowie from Ms Pacman. All the […]

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Song of the Day: Flippers & DJ Slater (feat. U-Prag) – Unlocked (Original Mix)

Flippers & DJ Slater (feat. U-Prag) – Unlocked (Original Mix)

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An Open Letter To Melissa Bachman!

*This is in reference to the social media outcry yesterday, when the woman in question posted a victorious photo of her and a dead male lion she had shot in an enclose environment. *Please note that this letter is not intended to discriminate against woman or the female race in any way, shape or form. […]

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Stroobz’s Guide to Sex at Outdoor Parties

The outdoor music festival has historically not been one of the corner-stones of romance. Cupid’s arrow has, for many years, been shielded by dirt covered feet, trance music with the lyrics “I want your soul” and 80% of the partygoers’ pupils being the size of mag-wheels. The famous mantra of “18 MDMAs hath not a […]

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South African Traffic Cops: Friends or F*#tards?

A series of brutally flashing blue lights illuminate your rear view mirror one night. An overweight boy-scout adorned in uniform slowly approaches your window; you breathe deep from your throat, as if to hide the feint musk of those 3 and half glasses of indulgent sauvignon-blanc. “Good evening sir” he belches in a way that […]

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An Ode to the Selfie

In the all-gracious world of social media, every Shlong, Dick and Hairy can now share with the universe their deepest and most intimate tit-bits of their daily lives. While Facebook and Twitter provide white people the platform to moan that they will no longer be accepted as cashiers at Woolies, Instagram purports a photographic medium […]

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Dear Whites, Your Genocide is Imminent.

There are few pearls of wisdom in today’s world that are widely accepted as “common knowledge”. For instance it is undeniable that the sky is blue, that Steven Segal should never direct romantic comedies, or that Amanda Bynes’s vagina can swallow one of 50 Cent’s mag wheels whole. These are givens; irrefutable facts of life. […]

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The Wolf of Wall Street Official Trailer

After the dominance of Gordan Gekko and Oliver Stone’s Wall Street franchise, that, for all intents and purposes, dominated filmatic representations of the egotistical and slightly maniacal underbelly of Wall Street bankers, Martin Scorsese has entered the fray. The self indulgence of midget tossing and taping money to strippers finds a solace in The Wolf […]

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Cape Town and Cocaine: Eternal lovers

Suddenly I’m awake. The air rushes into my smoke infested lungs. My eyes, cemented shut by gunk, force open into a blurry vision. A nude body in a goat mask slowly comes into focus, I roll over this corpse like dead-weight. “Phew, it’s a she”. I try to inhale again, but my nose-hole is treating […]

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Online Trolls, And The Nerd Quest For Valour

The world is a frustrating place. There are futile wars in Africa, Taylor Swift gets paid for making music and Tiger Tiger Fourways exists. The planet isn’t always the becoming little enclave of human paradise they make it out to be in travel brochures, or pornos. Basic human interaction is becoming more and more separatist, […]

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