Cape Town, Stroob — May 15, 2013 at 10:00

Cape Town and Cocaine: Eternal lovers

by

cocaine1

Suddenly I’m awake. The air rushes into my smoke infested lungs. My eyes, cemented shut by gunk, force open into a blurry vision. A nude body in a goat mask slowly comes into focus, I roll over this corpse like dead-weight. “Phew, it’s a she”. I try to inhale again, but my nose-hole is treating air like the Arian Brotherhood in Soweto. What happened last night? I force on a dressing gown as my forehead tries to escape to different corners of the room, the thick whiskey-scented mucus boiling in my throat. I look in the mirror, gazing into vacant eyes, these horrible hollow eyes where all light and happiness goes to die. I growl as I force feed myself 4 Myprodol, 2 Berocca and a flat brandy and coke. I slump on the couch, a wounded foal; a glimmering picture of human perfection slowly approaching a pickled form. “Cocaine, fuck yeah” I whimper ironically. Those 92 minutes I can remember from last night were awesome, but why are there boobs shaved into my chest hair? The phone rings, it’s a friend. “Dude you will never guess who is playing tonight!” – And the pattern continues. Rinse. Repeat. This is Cape Town, and if its white, powdery and costs more than a ’89 Fiat Uno, then it’s going up someone’s nose.

As a kid cocaine was reserved for vagrants, rock stars and a urine soaked Kate Moss. It was at the pinnacle of the narcotic hierarchy and strictly forbidden by my personal moral code. Now this moral code has taken somewhat of a bruising over the last decade and found itself susceptible to contortion. So when I recently took a step back and gazed over the local wonderland, I realized the devilish underbelly that absorbs the local social scene. Who the fuck have we become? A night out involves half the club’s occupants queuing anxiously outside a bathroom stall. A line for a line, strangely poetic. Good friends, with eyes the size of mag wheels, rattle off inane conversation at 350 words per minute, without really telling you a thing. 4ams, become 5ams. 5ams become 7ams. 7ams become “lets do another line and get kicked out of a putt-putt course”. And then we meander home, our livers like scrotums, sleep for 3 days, only eat for 2, and gather the strength to start again from square one.

Philippe-Shangti-Free-cocaine-580x597

I don’t want to be a part of that anymore. But can you avoid it without disappearing into social anonymity and weekends at home knitting pyjamas for your cats? The simple answer is just don’t do it. Fine. Haven’t for a while now. But the alarming rate of use among peers means that the raw element of basic human connection is becoming void by mates using their nostrils as snow ploughs. If the only way we can engage in any fracture of meaningful discussion is if you cant feel the front side of your face, then I guess we aren’t the BFFs of yester year. PS: those 30cm sweat patches down to your waist are lank becoming bru.

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And yes, the gallows might brand me the hypocritical uber-cretin for daring to speak about the crazed use of “rutcha” in what purports to be a civilised society. But I have learnt the hard way. When a few hours of pleasure equals a few days of suffering, are our priorities not severely warped? I just want the good old days, where the sound of birds tweeting on a summer’s day was a blessing, and not the sound of satan reverberating in your head during a slash-your-wrists come down.  I want to talk to people I know, people I like, without them rattling on about a banal topic like gas stoves, and then popping off to the bathroom every 25 minutes for a top up of “self-confidence”. Its a dirty drug that makes you who you are not, and its frequency is becoming straight up unacceptable. One day it will come crumbling down, and you might be too numb to realize it, but thanks for providing illegal Nigerians with gainful employment.

~Stroobz~

*Follow @Stroobz on Twitter as he sets fire to the rain AND the wind (Fuck you Adele)

46 Comments

  1. Well written article and embodies the gist of what taking Cocaine entails, especially enjoyed the questioning of your own social importance with regards to taking or not taking a line.. Life shouldn’t be lived through fear of not being part of something but rather the love of being part and parcel of yourself.. Social pressures be damned…

  2. Well said!!

  3. There is more to life than the jol.

  4. Dude.
    Great piece.
    You hit the nail on the head with the “top-up of self confidence bit”.

  5. You wrote this high, didn’t you?

  6. ” I want to talk to people I know, people I like, without them rattling on about a banal topic like gas stoves”

    It’s funny coz I’ve had a fucking long conversation with someone at shack about stoves.

  7. Amazing, really well written, another point to bear in mind is that most of the stuff in CT is probably only around 3% cocaine so what is the rest?

  8. Top article mate, nailed it

  9. Someone just became a frontrunner for writing Grieve’s memoirs..

  10. Brilliant article! I used to shove that shit up my nose pretty much every second night, if not every night. I was hooked for a long time. And then one day i just stopped. Cold turkey. No rehab. Best decision of my life. And i still party until 5am and have the best fucking nights!! No ‘last night regrets’, i can breathe through BOTH nostrils and i got dollar in the bank! That shit aint worth it.

  11. Ya dude, it’s called growing up. That time when you realise there’s a lot more to life than “chasing up every temporary high”, (to quote Stacey Orrico). And seriously, if anyone is concerned that they will “slip into social anonymity” by not doing drugs, then they’ve got a whole fuckload of reality to swallow

  12. “A nude body in a goat mask slowly comes into focus, I roll over this corpse like dead-weight. â��Phew, itâ��s a she” This line sums up this piece, a load of shit. A goat mask, come now.
    Ground breaking stuff here, drugs are bad…the world should know this!

    • I know right. Feeble attempt at left of centre, pseudo-artistic, artificially edgy, hipster bullshit- just like the rest of this utterly irrelevant and vapid blog. All that powdered confidence has clearly distorted this twat’s esteem in his writing abilities.

  13. Please don’t stop doing coke, the world needs you to overdose die as an example of how bad drugs are. Be a martyr for your message.

  14. Coke is the devils dandruff, it ruined the good old Cape Town 1999 xtc days!

    • in 1999 Cape Town was more full of Coke than Ecstacy i can assure you.. Ecstacy just passed on through like the Hard House scene and disappeared with it….

  15. Stacey Orrico? Shit just got deep…

  16. Few things; so it’s okay to have a hangover from being drunk but not from cocaine? It’s okay to “do the right thing” with regards to a drug but not when it comes to the anonymous goat-girl whose name you don’t remember.

    I agree cocaine has gotten out of control in Cape Town but then again, so has a lot of shit but it’s not going to stop – I’m being cynical but I would say an article like this isn’t going to do anything to solve any problems and will only serve to highlight the ‘bravery’ of the author tackling a ‘controversial’ topic that is actually far too easy a target.

  17. Just stop doing coke in general then, no nead to write an article.

  18. I had someone offer me to come back after work and slam 6 Bladdy Geay grams with them. Didn’t know what that mean’t or who they were. So i watch as the chicks scurreled around them and tried to fiend more.

    Then they boys had enough because the girls weren’t putting out and they got upset and started snarfing more! haha

  19. got nice colombian broda, onli da bes. three hondred, nice one broda. special price for you broda

    0821234567

  20. Marvellous, thank you so much for this. Lines for lines. How do we break those lines though? Is it individual or societal?

  21. This is such utter wank. Your written offering is as contrived and banal as your life appears to be. A N*de body in a goat mask? A wounded foal…*gasp*… a glimmering picture of human perfection… *swoon*…slowly approaching a pickled form? Sorry Chuck Palahniuk, I wasn’t aware you took dytopian trips down South in your free time.
    What an irrelevant and yawn-worthy attempt at gonzo journalism. All that ice has left you with a serious case of literary self-aggrandisement (ditch the artfag drugs and go do a decent writing course with the money you save).

    • Sounds like you took this all pretty personally dude. It’ll be ok, just think happy thoughts :)

      see?

      >> :)

    • There is no need to be such an arrogant dick. Do us all a favour and get off of your literary high horse and refrain from reading blogs that are apparently so below you. Oh and eat a dick.

      P.S. How is my writing?

      No one cares.

    • There is no need to be such an arrogant dick. Do us all a favour and get off your literary high horse and refrain from reading blogs that are apparently so below you.

      P.S. How is my writing?

      No one cares.

  22. If only it was even Cocacine.. its 1% coke, 99% speed/washing powder/Nigerian pubes/etc.

  23. shame, how moronic us humans have become. we live on a planet called earth which floats in space. and here we are sucked into going out every night, doing drugs like cocaine, only because we have such a fear of missing out on an “experience” and worried that people might think we are lacking a so called “cool factor”. the people you are talking about in this post have large egos and on top of it they dont even deserve them. you people have no idea about life, who you are or any degree of consciousness on what is going on inside of you or around you. You live your life to party, but in between you dont even live your life, you just cure your fragile minds for the next instant gratification. the truth is that you cant bare to be around yourself, you cant face your own thoughts without realising that you are a complete idiot.
    Cocaine takers are attention seekers just like this blog post:
    1. You really dont want to do cocaine? You just made a public announcement about it! But you will do it again, i will put money on that, because you are only wanting a bit more street cred. ( The best part – next time you crouched over the toilet seat, someone will pipe up and say “what about your blog post? i thought you didnt want to do it anymore?’ at which you will make a sarcastic remark to pump your ego back to where it was, and everyone will laugh harharhar)
    2. “without disappearing into social anonymity and weekends at home knitting pyjamas for your cats” – really, so if you didnt go out and do cocaine thats what you would end up doing? surely you have enough brain cells to use your alone time more constructively? learn something new – how to use a new program/how to make something/how to play an instrument/read something intellectual (you said you wanted better things to talk about than the gas stove, nows your chance) / sit and contemplate your existence /write comments on bloggers posts telling them how stupid there story is/etc/etc/etc.
    3. Do you know that you can school an underprivileged child for a year for R350. One night of blow for a year of education, if thats not enough to stop then ya.
    4. “I force on a dressing gown” what, are you hugh hefner? sounds like you have more money than brains.you probably queued for 10 hours for a burger too; in your dressing gown, while hung over. Cocaine and dressing gowns, I would love to read your autobiography kurt cobain.
    5. You cant say NO and you wake up and sip flat brandy and coke on an evil hang over – YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx admit defeat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    seek help
    love and cuddles

  24. Shame, how moronic us humans have become, Here we are sucked into going out every night, doing drugs like cocaine, only because we have such a fear of missing out on an “experience” and worried that people might think we are lacking a so called “cool factor”. the people you are talking about in this post have large egos and on top of it they dont even deserve them. you people have no idea about life, who you are or any degree of consciousness on what is going on inside of you or around you. You live your life to party, but in between you dont even live your life, you just cure your fragile minds for the next instant gratification. the truth is that you cant bare to be around yourself, you cant face your own thoughts without realising that you are a complete idiot.
    Cocaine takers are attention seekers just like this blog post:
    1. You really dont want to do cocaine? You just made a public announcement about it! But you will do it again, i will put money on that, because you are only wanting a bit more street cred. ( The best part – next time you crouched over the toilet seat, someone will pipe up and say “what about your blog post? i thought you didnt want to do it anymore?’ at which you will make a sarcastic remark to pump your ego back to where it was, and everyone will laugh harharhar)
    2. “without disappearing into social anonymity and weekends at home knitting pyjamas for your cats” – really, so if you didnt go out and do cocaine thats what you would end up doing? surely you have enough brain cells to use your alone time more constructively? learn something new – how to use a new program/how to make something/how to play an instrument/read something intellectual (you said you wanted better things to talk about than the gas stove, nows your chance) / sit and contemplate your existence /write comments on bloggers posts telling them how stupid there story is/etc/etc/etc.
    3. Do you know that you can school an underprivileged child for a year for R350. One night of blow for a year of education, if thats not enough to stop then ya.
    4. “I force on a dressing gown” what, are you hugh hefner? sounds like you have more money than brains.you probably queued for 10 hours for a burger too; in your dressing gown, while hung over. Cocaine and dressing gowns, I would love to read your autobiography kurt cobain.
    5. You cant say NO and you wake up and sip flat brandy and coke on an evil hang over – YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx admit defeat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    seek help
    love and cuddles

  25. The “author” associates cape town with cocaine. Most people living in what is arguably the most beautiful city in the world don’t share your drab, emo, defeatist association. In the block of text above your pithy attempt at some form of upper LSM (not LSD you tool), Hunter S. Tired inspired journalism has fallen flat on its face.

  26. This is exceptionally well written.

    Drugs are fun until they are not, and sadly cocaine is one of those “not too mind altering to function” drugs that can creep into people’s lives and become a regular habit before they know it.

    I am completely freaked out with how much coke is going around CT – when I was waitressing my customers used to invite me for lines with them between their courses, I can’t go to a club, pub, gallery, concert or bar without being offered coke – in fact the only place I am not offered cocaine every time I pitch up is on set when I am modeling – which is the one place I thought I would find the stuff.

    Stay strong kids – just look at Lindsey Lohan without makeup on – that’s cocaine bitches – and if you make it a part of your daily routine it will destroy your life and hinder your growth.

  27. R300 worth self confidence at that…

  28. Very bravely said, I hope you remain vocal on this topic because till this point I have felt like no one cares.

    Bravo.

  29. I am assuming you have just watched the movie Flight ((Denzel ‘Stroobz’ Washington)). The opening scene is what you are describing. Pathetic attempt at trying to pump up your shitty life with an article based on a movie. Shame dude, this is cry for help (cause you cant stop), not an attempt to get people to realise the dangers of the white cutchie cutchie. Grow a pair! (oh wait, to much blow and the thing don’t grow!).

    • Hahahahah hahahaa holy fuck oaks are tucking in. Cocaine is a love hate relationship. There’s only one way around this… MYCITYBYNIGHT should start an annual “Delete your dealer day” where everyone in the western cape delete all their dirty digits! Haha

    • Nope havent seen it. But your frankly tyrannical presumptions are duly noted. Thanks for your insightful cynicism though. Always appreciated.

      I’ll pass on the blow though, as i said about 12 times in the piece that you apparently didnt read.

      High five

  30. Pingback: Fluffy White Bunnies #62 – Buddy Coke : Durban Is Yours

  31. Very interestingly well-written article Stroobz

    “Good friends, with eyes the size of mag wheels, rattle off inane conversation at 350 words per minute, without really telling you a thing.”

    LOL

  32. Time to revive this article.had a dinner in CPT with some bloggers
    Half the fucking bloggers on coke
    CPT has a serious problem with coke

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