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I really want to have my own reality show. Id be that garish self-involved guy that entertains millions with his narcissistic lifestyle of over indulgence. Id lie around all day, trimming my pubes, drinking whisky for lunch and occasionally urinating on the homeless chap that ruffles through my garbage. I mean that’s where ratings come [...]
Articles By: Stroob
Interview| Jumping Back Slash (UK)
When I think of a wolf in sheep’s clothing, my mind’s eye goes down a convoluted path of toddler’s in thong bikinis and fully grown British men, with shoe polish covering their face, in leopard skin loin cloths. However, what might initially appear to be a wolf in decadent lamb garments, is in fact one [...]
D is for Dildo, V is for… (NSFW… Kinda…)
In the early 1800’s the church was an all powerful autocrat that wielded the lightning bolts and furious anger of God’s right hand. Their word was literally gospel and all laws, scientific findings and wisdoms of truth could only be bequeathed from their lips. And so, in a very basic sense, if you and a [...]
Africa’s Gays: Gladiator Moffies
De Waterkant in Cape Town is a fabulous location with divinely orientated she-he’s and flamboyantly opulent he-she’s. One of the gay capitals of the planet, it enjoys tolerance and acceptance for any man who can sing Celine Dion in F sharp and any woman with a goatee. In fact the society is so cosmopolitan that [...]
Young, Horny & Ready To Marry!
Falling in love isn’t what it used to be. It was once a leisurely stroll along a pearly beach, the soft embrace of her hand upon yours as the sun carelessly drops beneath the horizon, your lips touching, deep breathing, passionate coitus upon silk sheets with a light breeze and the aromatic fragrance of rose [...]
“The South African Mob: fighting crime and killing stuff”
Its funny how my idea of “mob justice” has been morphed, prodded and influenced by Francis Ford Coppola movies. I envision a Southern Italian with an ironic flower nickname like Bobby “the daffodil” Puccini giving concrete swimming shoes to a police informant, and then celebrating with a bowl of Spaghetti Napolitano. But this stereotype has [...]
F*ck South Africa!
Our glorious Rainbow Nation, filled to the brim with an eclectic melting pot of kif okes, sweet babes and vuil naais. But there isn’t one singular collective that encompasses all and sundry; for instance I can smell a Joburger from twenty paces, and its not just due to the mandatory 2 cans of Axe body [...]
Would you cryogenically freeze yourself?
Every young child enamoured with his or her own imagination dreams of many things: Flying, space travel, three-way sex with that chick from Isidingo and a moustached Ron Weasley (okay too personal). Yet since Dr. Emmet Brown reached 88mph in “Back To The Future” , there is an infatuation with time travel unrivalled. Steven Hawkings’ [...]
Review| Hooters Cape Town
There are few items in an astute younger male’s spectrum that are required to make us happy. Infact, I can count them on my right hand; Beers, Boobs, Burgers, Bokke and…. Masturbation. And while only 4 out of 5 of those are attainable at Cape Town’s most recent venture into the world of “Good [...]
Stop Making Me Apologise For Being White
Its hard being a highly educated white male in a contemporary South African social order. At the tender age of 8, the ANC became a governing force, liberating this young author and the land upon which he lived. The world rejoiced, the people cheered and I eventually learned how to conjugate a verb. I grew [...]
Hi My Name’s Alcoholic and I’m a Stroob
I’m going to preface this literary tour-de-force by acknowledging I’m breaking the first holy grail of AA. That one that preludes the 1st of the twelve steps: “Thou shalt not bequeath upon souls the events that doth occur in Alcoholics Anonymos meetings”. So first up was Brad, a blue eyed blonde haired Architect from [...]
Homophobia Is The New Racism
At the moment, in our glorious tip of a dark and dreary continent, we have Julius Malema and Steve Hofmeyer. Two talented “young” men who are doing as much for race-relations as Hitler did for yarmulke sales. These intellectual juggernauts are in a perpetual tantrum of race based folly, and, to be honest, they’re [...]
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