Suddenly I’m awake. The air rushes into my smoke infested lungs. My eyes, cemented shut by gunk, force open into a blurry vision. A nude body in a goat mask slowly comes into focus, I roll over this corpse like dead-weight. “Phew, it’s a she”. I try to inhale again, but my nose-hole is treating [...]
Articles By: Stroob
Breaking News: Children are just going bonkers for Satan
It is a rather esteemed rarity for me to discuss religion. Partly because you never want to get on the bad side of a fanatical Muslim, and partly because a cult that believes a sexy bearded man could transform water into wine would see me in white robes offering my first born for ritualistic sacrifice. [...]
What Salad Goes Best With Donkey? The Horrors of the South African Meat Market
Recently I have harked back to yester year; when global warming was a nice way to get a tan, the worst thing an American President ever did was accept a sneaky hay-jay and our major culinary concern was whether or not this poor cow was free-ranging it in a meadow or mainlining the odd hormone [...]
An Open Letter To Dearest Thorsten Heins (CEO Of BlackBerry)
Dearest Thorsten Heins (BlackBerry CEO) I thought I would write you an open letter, detailing my wonderful experiences with my BlackBerry device your company produces. If I could go back 3 years, to when I first opened that shiny box adorned in lavish silver and retrieved my BlackBerry in all its auspicious glory, I would [...]
Valentines Day, You’re A Prick!
The premise for Valentine’s Day is really rather simple. A begrudged sexually frustrated celibate male in a stagnant long term relationship realises it’s time to flick the charm switch so he clumsily gets a booking at his fifth choice restaurant, because reservations are full. He combs his hair, puts on that shirt reserved for both [...]
CTEMF x BOILERROOMtv X RBMA – Cape Town Making History!
One of the more iconic facets of electronic music is that it is a truly global phenomenon. While trends and fashions gently ebb and flow on a worldwide scale, each individual region brings its own nuance and flick of the wrist that makes it their own. In South Africa we are no different. We are [...]
White Man on a Minibus: A Touching Story of Triumph.
Please note that I write this having been brought up in the thick stench of white privilege, a burden I bear with both feelings of guilt and gratitude. My childhood was littered with extra-murals, kosher lunches and drama excursions. We golfed on Sundays, had chiropractors on Mondays and thought wearing plaid shirts was a fashion [...]








Online Trolls, And The Nerd Quest For Valour
The world is a frustrating place. There are futile wars in Africa, Taylor Swift gets paid for making music and Tiger Tiger Fourways exists. The planet isn’t always the becoming little enclave of human paradise they make it out to be in travel brochures, or pornos. Basic human interaction is becoming more and more separatist, [...]