Sorry sir, lights out… this has got to hurt!

Eina, you see his head bounce off the floor like that, he’s out cold! Its a pity that the Fijian is out this weekend as he has been outstanding this season(Really burns my ass saying that) and could have played a vital role against the Cheetahs tomorrow! Another victory could definitely see us into a semi final spot

Stormers: 15 Joe Pietersen, 14 Gio Aplon, 13 Jaque Fourie, 12 Tim Whitehead, 11 Bryan Habana, 10 Peter Grant, 9 Dewaldt Duvenage, 8 Duane Vermeulen, 7 Francois Louw, 6 Schalk Burger (captain), 5 Andries Bekker, 4 Anton van Zyl, 3 Brok Harris, 2 Tiaan Liebenberg, 1 Wicus Blaauw.
Replacements: 16 Deon Fourie, 17 JC Kritzinger, 18 De Kock Steenkamp, 19 Pieter Louw, 20 Ricky Januarie, 21 Willem de Waal, 22 Sireli Naqelevuki

MCBN- Right, so the time has finally come for Aunt Muriel to dish out some advice to all those of you plagued by the troubles of everyday life… What Kreg and I have done, is selected 3 of the most “relevant & pressing” issues sent through to our inbox that we think MyCityByNight’s very own agony aunt will be able to help with- and let us just say one thing… You guys and girls are seriously weird.

Wedding Woe asked- “My boyfriend recently proposed to me and I accepted because I’m madly in love with him… The trouble is I absolutely HATE the ring he’s got me. Aunt Muriel, do you think I can tell him that I think its kak? Will he be crushed? I mean I’ve got to wear this on my finger until we get married and he hopefully gets me something less hideous.”

Aunt Muriel- 

But darling, do you actually want to marry a man who has such terrible taste in the first place? I mean, he didnt even have the intelligence to ask your BFF what you would like? I honestly shudder to think what the clothes he wears look like… Do you maybe buy them for him? If you absolutely must marry this man then for goodness sake be honest about the ring, you can’t wear a monstrosity on your finger day in and day out, it will exhaust you and eventually you’ll end up murdering him with a spoon.

Bored Betty asked- “I am bored with my current boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, he’s lovely, caring and very sweet, but sometimes I want him to be a bit more badass and maybe rip my clothes off and shake me around a bit, while im cooking dinner. Should I maybe get myself a bad boy instead or would that just be adding to the adage that nice guys always finish last?”

Aunt Muriel-

First of all, what you’re wanting sounds a bit like domestic violence to me- us girls often do enjoy a man who’s strong and knows what he wants, much like the pirate who deflowers the princess and asks questions later… but from my experience it’s the bad boys that finish FIRST…usually after 30 seconds or so… Most women are lucky to have a ‘lovely, caring and very sweet’ man, who’s worst quality is being a bit boring and not constant farting, cheating and an addiction to the sex services of prostitutes. I think you should let him find someone who appreciates him, bitch.

Pearls of Wisdom asked- “Pearls of wisdom… Do you have any for me Aunt Muriel?”

Aunt Muriel-

Ooh do I… My several years on this earth have taught me many important things…

Always wipe downwards and away from the body rather than up and towards. (I learnt that one from an all too bitter experience.)

Go to the toilet before a long car journey.

Don’t eat yellow snow.

Think once, think twice, think don’t drive your car on the pavement.

And lastly I’d like to leave you with this thought- If a man says something, and there are no women around to hear him, is he still wrong? (Sorry Kreg and Ricky)

MCBN- Thanks so much for that valuable input Aunt Muriel, I’m sure everyone learnt something… To all of you readers out there- keep those problems coming (just remember to let us know that its for Aunt Muriel, otherwise we’ll just think you’re weird)

Growing up on the perilous streets of Jo-Burg’s inner city, Deleriant was thrust into a malevolent scourge of survival. Where others were consumed by the soiled urban jungle, this trance master existed on a diet of dead rats, expired Mentos and thumping bass lines. There is no doubting that his injection into the Capetonian scene has seen repercussions resulting in twisted faces, sore feet and an upswing in general tom-foolery. We managed to catch up with this dance floor celebrity and pick his brain regarding his sudden surge of success.

MCBN: If Heat magazine had a psy-trance edition there’s little doubt in our mind that you would be a foldout centerfold, maybe even with your own fragrance. This recent fame increase has not only resulted in an international booking, but various gigs around our rainbow nation. How has this not managed to get to your head? And are you one of those brothers who covers their head with a jacket around paparazzi?

Deliriant:Haha – my own fragrance, interesting. I’m not really the big-headed type; I’m grateful for all the opportunity that’s been sent my way, but I try not to let it get to my head. And luckily no paparazzi for me either!

MCBN: Onto some serious journalism for a second… if you combined an animal with a super power what would you be?

Deliriant: Mmm probably some sort of bird that could turn into a human, so I could fly around but still be a DJ. Drinking and driving would be a thing of the past.

MCBN: No seriously… playing all over the country must have afforded you some truly rocking events. Which one stands out in your mind as the one you’ll tell your great grandkids about?

Deliriant: New Years Vortex back in 2006/07 (I think). I played to a massive dance floor at 3am after the countdown and people were going completely mental. I was also quite new to the scene and very lucky to get such a nice time slot, which made it even more intense. Two others that stand out are the spring Fu-cha party of 2009 as well as my recent gig in Portugal.

MCBN: You have played in and around Cape Town and JHB, how does “The Mother City” and “The Creepy Uncle City” differ? Buffalos and wife beaters the norm up there or are we stereotyping again?

Deliriant: Hmm there are definitely more ‘shweet okes’ here than hippies in CT, but the vibe is pretty peaceful at Joburg parties. I think JHB parties are still growing and definitely have huge potential – the big ones like Fu-cha are completely on par with CT in terms of venue / rig / artists etc. but people are still learning about the scene here, which can take a while. One big difference is that the dance floor in JHB will empty out quite a bit in the daytime on Sunday, while in CT that’s when the party’s only just beginning. So in that sense, people in CT seem a bit more chilled about making it to work on Monday (or maybe they just don’t have work on Monday), but other than that the vibe is just as friendly.

MCBN: You’ve been working on a side project “Deadbeat FM” with your mate Piers, things seem to be taking off quiet nicely with a signed record deal with the LOT 49 (UK). Give us a little bit of background of what Deadbeat is all about. Oh and Congrats on the signing!

Deliriant: Thanks. Piers is a good friend of mine, and was an up and coming DJ in Joburg who knew a few promoters around town. When I moved back here we started DJing together, playing wherever and whatever we could, until a mutual love for tech house developed, and Deadbeat FM was formed. These days we’re getting booked pretty regularly for some big parties, and we also have a residency at a weekly party called Technology. On the production side, Lot49 (a UK record label with artists like Meat Katie, Kid Blue etc) held a competition where anyone could submit a piece of music, and they would choose the best 14 of the bunch to be released on a New Lot compilation a few months later. There were over 1500 entries and we somehow managed to place in the top 14. Since then the track has been released internationally and is doing well for itself on Beatport and such sites. We are hoping to see a remix of the track by Kid Blue, as well as doing a remix of one his tracks all to be released on an EP later this year. We are also hoping for some Cape Town bookings in the future. You can check out http://www.soundcloud.com/deadbeatfm for both of our Lot49 submissions, as well as some mix demos.

MCBN: What do you think of other producers branching out into different genres and who do you think has done it the best in recent times (You can say DeadBeat FM if you want)?

Deliriant: I think its cool, especially seeing that some of the older well known psy trance acts are making really good tech at the moment. GMS have created Riktam & Bansi and Freakulizer is now Khainz, and they’re both making a lot of killer tracks. My best is a good combination between the two genres, which Iboga Records seem to have down to a tee. Perfect Stranger, Quantize & Ace Ventura are good examples. Asides from techno, another group that springs to mind is Jam Jar – Kieran from Biorhythm with Baker as the MC. They make a good combo.

MCBN: OK so I know trying to answer this question is comparable to making out with your sister, but we whore ourselves out to our fans and they must know! What are your top three tracks at the moment??

Deliriant: Haha ya, difficult one.. but probably:

Shift – Crash

Mantis – Dark Planet

And a perfect example of the psy tech combo I mentioned above:

Weekend Heroes – Sidewinder (Ace Ventura Remix)

MCBN: If you could DJ back to back with anyone, local, international, dead or alive (yet to be born even, cause you know I was spinning some jacking thrash core in the womb ), who would it be?

Deliriant: Also a tough one, but probably Absolum.

MCBN: Besides it being blatantly obvious that MC Hammer has influenced your dancing style, which other artists have inspired you in a musical sense?

Deliriant: Absolum, Azax Syndrom, Digital Talk, Painkiller, Bliss, Concept, Lost & Found, Shift, Twisted System, Brethren/Tickets/Phyx, Rabdom L, Artifakt, Slug.

MCBN: What equipment is forming the foundation for the unmistakable Deliriant sound? Cause I’ve been messing with a couple of banjos, a ukulele and the voice of a castrated 9 year old boy, and I just cant seem to crack it!

Deliriant: Haha, I’d be interested to hear that. I use a dual core PC, Cubase SX 3, Rokit KRK 6s and some VSTs like Albino, Predator etc. I also have a Virus TI Desktop which I use to make most of my sounds.

MCBN: Sadly we’ve lost you back to the dark den of South Africa, but you often return back to the cape, when can we look forward to seeing you on a trance floor again?

Deliriant: You mean Joburg right? Unfortunately I had to turn down a few gigs in April because I won’t be in SA at the time, but I’ll definitely be back soon!

MCBN: We have just seen Deliriant arrive back from a trip to Portugal (sweeeeeet), how was that party for you and how does the international scene compare to our local PSY jols? Any other international gigs coming out we should know about?

Deliriant: It was a cool party – smallish, but a nice crowd! The people were friendly and I got a very similar vibe to our local scene. I just wished I could’ve hung around for a bit longer, I basically went straight from the party to the airport, which was interesting to say the least. I’m going to Australia for about 3 weeks in April which should be a bit less of a rush, and then back to Portugal in September to play at the Azores Islands.

MCBN: Finally the dreaded MCBN would you rather question. Would you rather form part of an underground Emo band called “My tears taste like rainbows” with Rawbs on drums and Grieve on air guitar, or would you rather donate one of your testicles to the Thailand institute for cross-gender surgery research?

Deliriant: The emo band, no doubt about it.

Shane its been a pleasure. Cant wait to do something I’ll regret on a dancefloor you’re playing on soon! Go check out his fanpage over here (DELIRIANT) and listen to some of his sick tracks he has made

At MyCityByNight we’re always being tuned by our female fans that we don’t have enough girl-related content on the blog. So after the numerous requests I decided to make the effort and write something solely for you- the fairer sex.

With me not being an expert in the field of female matters I decided to enlist the help one of the most famous female characters I know- Nancy Drew. Although Nancy generally doesn’t have a lot of time for dating with all the sleuthing and catching bad guys that she does, she still manages to take the occasional break to spend some time with boys. Using her detective skills, she’s normally able to suss out any potential suitor long before they’ve had a chance to pretend to be really nice and not at all interested in getting her into bed. Teaming up with the likes of your resident softy Ricky Bynight we’ve got some really good tips for all you single girls out there!

1. Accept invitations from a variety of suitors.
From time to time you may be surprised to find out that what you thought was your “type” may not actually be as interesting as a man who you originally thought wasn’t your vibe. Just like solving a variety of different mysteries, dating a variety of men makes your life richer and allows you to gain valuable experiences and information about certain types of guys that will help you in making future romantic decisions. Even a seemingly average guy can offer some surprises that just might be exactly what you’ve been looking for- even if you weren’t already aware that this is what you were actually after.

2. Take the time to dress up.
This one is probably the most important tip out of the entire bunch. Regardless of who you are meeting or where you are going always be sure to put your best foot forward, outfit wise. Whether it’s a brand new halter neck or an older outfit, freshened up with new accessories, its important to look good, or at least look like you have put some thought into what you are wearing. At bare minimum, you will feel comfortable and this will make you feel confident. As an added maybe try out some new nail polish or a brand new fragrance (as a guy I cant stress this enough, you have no idea how awesome it is to take a whiff of the t-shirt we wore last night, on the morning after, only to smell you on it- drives us CRAZY).

3. Look at the positive instead of the negative.
Sometimes a date goes really well just because you’ve had a positive attitude from the get-go. Even if he turns out to be more boring than a professional bowls player, at least you’ve had a new adventure or possibly gained a clue to a life mystery along with a night out on the town/yummy dinner.

4. Be your charming self.
Ok before I start this one let me just say that this is all Nancy- Apparently women have moods (awkward silence) and instead of baring your negative ones, dating offers the opportunity to be your witty and charming self. Bring up entertaining topics, such as a strange situation you’ve experienced while sleuthing and solving mysteries and you may just find that the night turns out to be quite amusing and revealing as the guy you’re with begins to let you into some of his secrets without evening realising he’s doing so

5. Don’t discuss past relationships.
This is not the time to talk about other men!!!!! I cant stress this enough- men don’t care and we certainly don’t want to be compared to your past boys, or at least we don’t want to be aware that you are doing this. If he does ask about past relationships, just say “We weren’t compatible” and leave it at that- this isn’t the time for sleuthing and probing questions about his past relationships. It’s far too an obvious interrogation ploy that rarely produces useful information. Nancy says that if you want to uncover real secrets, be subtle.

6. Determine your interest level in your date.
The first date offers the opportunity to get to know the other person as well as you possibly can, given the short period of time that you are in each other’s company. Ask questions, listen attentively, and let him know when you agree with him. Don’t be too judgmental or make snap decisions about him early on-he may not be what he seems because he’s more nervous than Damien Marley before a drug test. At the same time you don’t want to give the guy false hope if you’re not interested by leading him on- you will get caught out (there’s always someone who’s going to let him know, you’re playing him). Just don’t destroy his confidence by bringing the thunder and lightening- karma is a bitch and what happens to you won’t be nice.

7. Keep it light and fun.
At the end of the day keep the conversation neutral. You can definitely discuss serious topics like earthquakes and the child labour in India, but keep things positive; maybe mention the fact that these working kids now at least have money to buy sweeties. Get the convo going about topics of interest, like movies or Jacob Zuma’s many wives and if you’re not that familiar with something he says-such as the mention of a limited-slip diff on a car or the name of indoor footy trick-let him know. He’ll enjoy telling you more!

Ok admittedly, this does help the cause of most of us guys out there too (me in particular, with a certain romantic interest, hehe), but at least you’ll be able to lure the interests of several young and virile suitors out there because Nancy Drew and MyCityByNight said so…

Cape Town has a plethora of made up words, words with a mix of English and Afrikaans and just some local slang that has been reworked and changed throughout the years. I don’t think a sentence goes by when I don’t use some of these words. Here is a little guide that could essentially help all the tourists when they come down here to understand us a little bit better. Infact, I think we should all take a little read over this to help US understand each other a bit better…

So there you have it. A couple of well known ones and a couple more unknown ones. We always try to lend a helping hand here at MyCityByNight especially when dealing with a car guard or a “bergie” who sometimes makes life extremely hard for you when you cannot understand a word that is coming out of his mouth (usually due to the fact that he is so intoxicated from methalyated spirits). If you guys know of any that I have left out, do feel free to drop a comment and let us know!

Awe my bru, be a kiff ou and gooi me an entjie bra! Jy’s a befokte mul naai!

oooooooooooo looky what I found….

…sketchbook content done by Aphte (who is Daniel Abensour) an illustrator from somewhere in the South of France. He graduated from Axe Sud Art School, Marseille, and is now apparently in the midst creating worlds,playing God and eating hamburgers.

Check out some of his T-Shirt illustrations…

I’m absolutely obsessed with his work, click here www.aphte.net and prepare to be mind boggled or bloggled more like

So I was super duper keen to get into the mind of Margot Molyneux, a Cape Town based young designer and what I found after my little adventure in her thoughts was determination and inspiration. Unfortunately due to my 9-5 job I wasn’t able to meet with her in person for cupcakes and tea (sigh)however thanks to technology we did just swimmingly by email…

MCBN: Heya Margot! I’m so excited to find out more about the lady behind the Margot Molyneux line. Before I begin, lets cast our minds back to where it all began for you, can you tell me a little about yourself? Where you from? What’s your educational background?

MM: I was born in Cape Town and lived here ever since. I started studying fashion design in 2006, after matriculating the previous year. I studied at a college in Woodstock called DAF, Design Academy of Fashion.

MCBN: When did you realise you wanted to become a fashion designer?

MM: I’m not actually sure. I’ve always loved making things, so I think it was just a case of what field of design I was going to go into. Tried Fashion design and turns out I really enjoy it.

MCBN:  Looking back, can you remember the first garment you ever created?

MM: I can’t remember the first garment I ever created, must have been years ago and must have been sewn terribly, but the first garment I made at college was a T-shirt which we had to make with our names on the front.

MCBN:  Where do you get your inspiration from to create your unique designs?

MM: I try to keep myself up to date with trends while looking to past styles for ideas on silhouettes etc. I also love watching people, interesting to understand the logic behind what they wear.

MCBN: I know exactly what you mean, do it all the time. It has been said that you have a very distinct style and that only a select few would wear a one piece outfit (as seen  in your recent summer range), how do you think it translates to the streets?

MM: I definitely don’t intend my clothes to be exclusive. I intend my outfits to be ‘street worn’ by anyone who likes them. I feel they are simple and understated while being fairly unique.

MCBN: Oh, and just for the record I would be in that one piece any day, loves it

You’re quite young to have started your own business- what has been the hardest part of the whole venture?

MM: I think the hardest part is having the confidence about your designs and ideas which is something I work at continually.

MCBN: What is the biggest lesson that you have learnt in this cut throat industry?

MM: If you are hard working and friendly, people will be willing to give you a hand. I must admit, I have met some great people this past year who have really helped me out.

MCBN: Who is your favourite local model that you have worked with?

MM: I haven’t really worked with many, shoots of my clothing have been organised by the photographers, but each of the girls who have worn my clothes have been great.

MCBN: What do you think is this season must have in the wardrobe?

MM: Items which make you feel good.

MCBN: And what trends do you see BIG for winter 2010?

MM: Accentuated shoulders and trench coats.

MCBN: What do you think of production being done mainly in China and not locally?

MM: I think it is sad, however understandable for large retailers. I do think that people should appreciate locally produced items and understand the difference in price to the China goods.

MCBN: Do you buy your fabrics locally or China?

MM: I buy my fabrics locally however they are imported from the east. Not many fabrics are made here locally anymore.

MCBN: There is a big trend at the moment for using organic fabric, do you try to stay “green”?

MM: It is very difficult to find organic fabrics here; as they are not readily available as in other countries. Although I would love to use them as I think most of us have no idea just how damaging the production of our fabrics are.

MCBN: What do you think is the biggest fashion mistake someone can make?

MM: Wearing something that they are not comfortable in, or unsuitable for their shape.

MCBN: When you are not designing where can we see you out and about?

MM: I love Cape Town and try to utilise all of its great spots.

MCBN: What do you have to say to the next generation, particularly for those hoping to follow in your footsteps?

MM: I don’t feel that I am even experienced enough to give advice, however I think with determination and the love of what you are doing you stand a good chance.

MCBN: Thank you so much Margot for making this interview possible, will probably bump into you on the ramp!

MM: Yip

Winter 2009

Summer 2009

Cape Town Fashion Week

Its that time again (for me that is), its been a while since I last went to a trance party, seeing as though I have officially retired and what not, but this weekend I made a slight change of plans and have decided to come out of retirement and head through to the Groovy Troopers – Vision Serpent party out in Gouda area. Its 100km plusminus, outside of Cape Town but hey, I’m more than ready for this one and I’m sure most of you are too.

The flyer is pretty sick innit? Burn In Noise and Starspine (Bent Sentient back in the day, local SA boy who is now DJing abroad) are the two main acts for the party and I have heard a bit of both of there stuff and all I can tell you is we are in for a little musical treat. Bruce has the sunrise set and I can’t tell you when the last time I saw him play the sunrise session but I know he wont fail because he is Cape Town’s favourite. Take a look at the line up times, its looking sweet!

16:00 – 17:30 Delphi (Groovy Troopers)
17:30 – 19:00 Yogi (Groovy Troopers)
19:00 – 20:30 Ninjah (Groovy Troopers)
20:30 – 21:30 Chabunk – Live (Groovy Troopers)
21:30 – 23:00 Psyguy (Organik)
23:00 – 00:00 Shockwave – Live (Groovy Troopers)
00:00 – 01:30 DillanM (Free Spirit)
01:30 – 03:00 Switchcache (PsynOpticz)
03:00 – 04:00 Rabdom L – Live (Nexus Media)
04:00 – 05:30 Phyx (Timecode)
05:30 – 06:30 Biorhythm – Live (The Village)
06:30 – 08:00 Bruce (Alien Safari)
08:00 – 09:30 Burn in Noise – Live (Alchemy)
09:30 – 11:00 Starspine (Alchemy)
11:00 – 12:00 The Commercial Hippies – Live (Nano)
12:00 – 13:30 Gandalf (Alchemy)
13:30 – 14:30 Static Flow-Live (Groovy Troopers)
14:30 – 16:30 Regan (Nano)
16:30 – 18:00 Sterealkey (Groovy Troopers)

Yoh, thats awesome…

From 1:30am onwards its all systems go. Things might get a little messy, I did warn you so don’t blame me if anything (good/bad) happens. I’m so keen for this weekend, I cant even wait anymore!

If anyone needs directions, write this down now:

Just over 100km away! From Cape Town take the N1 to Paarl. Take Exit 47, R44 towards Wellington. Cross straight over a fourway stop, and turn left at the next robot, onto the R44. Drive pass Voëlvry Dam and turn left towards Gouda onto the R44 again. Drive +- 19km and turn right towards De Hoek. Drive straight and follow the signs.

Ticket Prices:

R185 @ Outlets / R200 @ Gate

Now something to get you a little more amped up. Seeing as though Burn In Noise is playing the morning in early afternoon set, I thought I would show you this… Tell me this doesn’t get you psyched… cause I also did a backflip!

Hope to see you all Front Right…

From time to people out there in the abyss of the internet fail fairly hard with regards to their choice of domain name, unlike the absolutely catchy mycitybynight.co.za

Here are some of the most poorly named sites that I could find out there and my-oh-my, could they be MORE ambiguous!?! Haha

www.whorepresents.com – This is a site called ‘Who Represents’ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a particular celebrity
www.expertsexchange.com – Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views… Yes… hmm.
www.therapistfinder.com – Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder. Of course, that’s the first thing I thought the site was about.
www.molestationnursery.com – And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales. This is possibly the worst one of the bunch for sheer inappropriateness.
www.ipanywhere.com – If you’re looking for computer software
www.speedofart.com – Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers
www.gotahoe.com – Want to go on holiday in Lake Tahoe?

Last night saw the first team practice for The Football Club before our dreaded grading match to see where we are positioned in the league for our indoor soccer championships. After a little huffing and puffing around the field, we all decided to head through to the Dubliner for some drinks to celebrate St Paddy’s day and get some proper GEES flowing before the up coming game.

I arrived to meet Ricky ByNight who was already inside and realised I was walking into a huger party then I could have expected. Kennedy’s and The Dubliner were filled to the brim with people, I really enjoyed the mix of local folk and tourists inside the Dubliner/Kennedy’s. Everyone sporting some kind of green outfit or had face painted with the Irish clover on it or some sort of disguise.

Very good night overall…

Even Greame Smith came through and made a little appearence with his stupid little broken middle finger.

Hope everyone had a great St Paddy’s Day

I caught a glimpse of this video on both CapeTownAlive and Dont Party respectively and my goodness what a clever campaign it is. The sheer sneakiness and the thought behind it is just to much for me. The aim was to take a sports loving man away from probably one of the biggest sporting games of his life and “forcing” him to watch an opera with his girlfriend. All of the boyfriend’s, couldn’t say NO! Imagining what it’s going to be like watching an opera while AC Milan were taking on Real Madrid in the Champions League, the boyfriends thought they had caught possibly the worst deal ever, Heineken had other ideas though. Take a look at this and look at how this viral campaign has been viewed across the world. It even made me drink a couple of Heineken’s last night. Over a million people were watching them live on Sky Sports and over 10 million saw it on the news the next day. Good exposure for Heineken, GREAT exposure if you ask me. This penetrative advertising had set the social media networking and blogging websites alive and what more could Heineken ask for, they have just been viewed across the world, by MILLIONS. This is by far the cleverest and most creative campaign out there, but for me, the viral aspect is HUGE and have to take my hat off to Heineken creative team on this one:

 I think Heinekens Slogan says it all: Made to Entertain!

What are your thoughts on this?

Considering that its St. Patrick’s day and that most of the varsity folk across the land will be going on Easter vacation soon I thought that it would be a good idea to provide some down the line factual advice on the effects that alcohol has on the brain.

You see, the effects of flaming Sambuca shots at the bar on your brain tend to resemble the career of Antonia Banderas- things get progressively worse as you put more effort in.

According to Dr Izak Loftus, forensic and anatomical pathologist from the Pathcare-Group, alcohol first suppresses the frontal lobes, progressing onto the back of your brain and then to the parts that lie deep in its centre.

In a paint-dryingly boring way he explains drunkenness as follows-

Alcohol is a suppressant as it suppresses the normal functions of your brain. This suppressing effect on the brain is almost like a wave crashing over your head (say what?). First it suppresses the frontal lobes, next it washes further backwards over the parietal lobes, then to the occipital lobes right at the back, then deeper into the brain to the cerebellum, on to the diencephalon and the mesencephalon (midbrain), finally ending up at the brainstem and the medulla oblongata.

This process is continuous, but certain functions, for example peripheral vision, may already be affected at an earlier stage.

Phew, almost dozed off there.

First Stage: The happy “this rounds on me” phase

The frontal lobes of the brain house the functions that control, among other things, your inhibitions, self-control, willpower, ability to judge and attention span. (Jaimie Foxx was definitely on to something with that “Blame it on the alcohol” tune)

If you suppress this area with booze, your self-confidence increases, you start getting jolly like a pirate, become more and more generous and start talking more. This is why alcohol is seen as one of the best social lubricants out there (next to a bag of ekkies of course).

Signs of this first stage can already be detected with blood alcohol levels as low as 0,01g/100ml – in other words, while you are within the legal limit of 0,05g/100ml.

This is generally the ideal zone where you want to stay if you want to keep members of the opposite/same sex interested in your “witty” conversation and avoid any jail time for drunken driving.

Second Stage: The slurring Jack Sparrow phase 

The next areas of the brain to come under fire from the magical fire water are the parietal lobes, affected at a blood alcohol level of approximately 0,10 g/100ml.

During this stage your motor skills become impaired, you have difficulty speaking in a manner other than that of the slurred mutterings of a constantly liquored Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean (for some bizarre reason, you are the only one blissfully unaware of this).

You also begin to shiver randomly and complicated actions like unbuttoning blouses become very difficult to execute (although, I’ve never had this problem, generally I can undo that shit just by thinking really hard about global warming). Similarly your sensory abilities are hampered, which is why food that would generally cause you to turn a shade of green after munching, now seems rather tasty (see Kreg’s post over HERE).

Third Stage: The I can’t-see-properly-so that minger looks hot- phase

At this stage your visual perception ability becomes severely limited. You experience increased difficulty with movement and distance perception (which is why drunk people are always bumping into shit).

Your depth perception also becomes impaired and your peripheral vision decreases. If, at this stage, you are silly enough to drive you will have great difficulty seeing the doctor who is walking to the lab with the cure for AIDS and the little boy chasing a ball by the roadside, in all likelihood squishing them both in one not-so-deft drifting manoeuvre.

Fourth Stage: The falling-down on your face-phase

As early as the blood alcohol level of 0,15 g/100ml the cerebellum becomes affected and maintaining your balance could become difficult. As you dop (drink) more falling on your “fasch” becomes all the more likely. If your friends have any love for you, they will take you home and allow your reputation to remain intact before this happens.

Fifth Stage: The pass-out while sitting upright phase

Hopefully, by this stage you are somewhere safe, because with a blood alcohol level of around 0,25 g/100ml your diencephalon and the mesencephalon (midbrain) are affected and you become extremely tired as well as a target for penis drawings on your face .

You are pretty close to spewing streams of vomit (if you haven’t already), with your consciousness severely suppressed- hell you might even be comatose.

Sixth Stage: The-Grim Reaper is standing a tad bit too close-phase

Should your blood alcohol level reach between 0,35 and 0,40 g/100ml, the effects of your boozing reach your brain stem, which includes the medulla oblongata. This controls your breathing and blood circulation and if suppressed, you are technically busy dying and well on your way to the pearly gates.

The chronic drinker 

These effects refer to the social drinker. Chronic abuse of alcohol is a whole different ball park. Your tolerance is increased and thus the effects of alcohol only become apparent when you, a chronic drinker have reached much higher levels of alcohol in the blood than those mentioned above.

For the most part a chronic drinker would appear to be less under the influence at a specific blood alcohol concentration than your normal weekend party animal.

So now before you go out there and slam those tequilas down- just bear in mind that alcohol cares nothing for the body and you could die if you drink too much- or too little for that matter (ok the last part might not be true).  

Effects of alcohol on the occipital lobe can be seen when your blood alcohol level reaches around 0,20 g/100ml.

Generally I think that the Black Eyed Peas are irritating, but I’ve found myself humming this tune all day at work. Its quite catchy and the video totally rocks… Cue the death threats from all the underground music lovers out there.

Check it out and let me know what you think…

I heard some very exciting news yesterday… The absolutely gorgeous Cape Town Stadium will be hosting a final test event for this year’s World Cup when four national under-20 teams will take part in the Cape Town International Challenge on the 10^th of April 2010.

South Africa’s young guns will be taking on Nigeria at 16:30 on the day, while Ghana will be facing the samba kings Brazil later that day at 19:00. This obviously means that we will all have the opportunity to see a game of footy at the stadium AT NIGHT!!!

The tickets will cost a measly R20 or R30 and will be available exclusively from Computicket (details as to when these will be available for purchase will follow as soon, as I know).

Cape Town’s Deputy Mayor- Ian Nielsen had this to say earlier this week-

“It is important that this fourth event tests us to the limits,” and thus this event would be used to test every aspect of Cape Town’s preparations for the World Cup.

Of the eight games scheduled to take place at Cape Town Stadium during the 2010 FIFA World Cup™, seven are going to be held at night and thus it was of paramount importance to work out the best ways to get spectators home after the matches.

Norman Arendse, president of SAFA Cape Town, said that all 65 000 seats would be available for the Cape Town International Challenge- I am sooo there!!!! Kreg and I went to the last event there and it was AWESOME.

Apparently all tickets for Cape Town matches during the World Cup are already sold out (SNIFF) and that the Cape Town International Challenge would be the last chance for fans who missed out to see a game at the stadium until after the global spectacle has concluded.

Come on peeps, get involved!!!!

In the history of the world, certain individuals have had a proliferating effect on vital causes. Ghandi was all over world peace, Hugh Hefner brought exposed double D breasts to the general public and Dean FUEL helped revolutionise dance music to what we see around us in Cape Town today. The literal “golden boy” of the Mother City’s clubbing scene has been making speakers bleed and women weak since I was bunking choir practise. So what better way for us at MCBN to get to know this legend then by sitting him on a surgical table and dissecting his frontal lobe… I mean asking him some questions.

MCBN: So Mr. Fuel, do you mind if I call you Mr. Fuel? ? When and how did this journey start?

Dean: A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

The journey began for me on the day I was born! My family is heavily musical, and their influence was always around me! I played various instruments (piano and guitar) and even had a band with friends in High School… Experiencing early rave and trance culture, as well as discovering clubbing led me to be 100% in love with electronic music, and once I made Cape Town my home (about 10 years ago), it wasn’t long before I bought my first turntables, and started spinning!

MCBN: If you could go back to one single event you’ve played at, and almost struggled not to cry its been so awesome, what would it be?

Dean: Tough one… so many to think about! For sheer scale and production – hard to beat the playing inside the Godskitchen Boombox alongside Armin Van Buuren! For crowd interaction, opening for Sasha in Cape Town was incredible. He (Sasha) actually made a special effort to come and hear me play, which was such a sign and stamp of approval – it blew me away! The closing set for infected Mushroom was also a rush – not an easy act to follow, a full psychedelic-rock band followed by just ‘me’ … loved it though!

MCBN: Have you ever thought that glowsticks, white gloves, vapour rub and a pacifier, all at the same time, was a good idea?

Dean: Every damn day! Just depends in what context … think about it!

MCBN: If one day you had a child and it had red hair, do you really think you could ever truly love it?

Dean: A ginger? Sure … why not? Nothing a little peroxide couldn’t fix

MCBN: Your style has become somewhat unmistakeable around our city, so much so that I’m actually starting to see little mini Fuel’s at shopping malls. The long blonde hair, the bright cap, the quirky yet stylish t-shirt (of which I’ve never seen you wear the same one twice) all make up your unique appearance.  In retrospect I think that’s more of a general observation, I’m not quite sure how to put it into a question. So… ever had a threesome?

Dean: What can I say? … I am a cap and t-shirt fanatic… in fact I’m an addict!! I can never have enough!

Have I ever had a threesome? No comment… I have a girlfriend, and she’ll probably read this…

MCBN: Ok, I think its time we had a serious question. How would you describe the style of music you play? I know you play varying styles depending on your crowd and venue, but how do you choose?

Dean: My secret DJ Magic 8 ball … never fails me!

But seriously, it really does just depend on the crowd and energy as to how any set will go.

My style? It’s a fusion of all electronic music, from House to Techno, Psy to Prog, deep and funky through to hard and driving… its difficult to really pin down my style, suffice to say, that it’s MY style 

MCBN: We’ve seen you wet your toes with a bit of production over the years. How’s this going and will there ever be place for a fully Fuelled album?

Dean: But of course… stay tuned!! At this stage though I have set up a new studio in my apartment, and am getting to grips with it! I just need to try find some extra time in the day to spend focused on the music production side of life… it’s a HUGE future goal of mine!

MCBN: If you could pick one track that used to inspire you, one track that currently rocks your boat and one track that will forever have a place in your heart, could you kindly do so now.

Dean: Inspiration: Leftfield – Open Up

Rocks my boat: Neelix –  Chainsaw

Forever in my heart: Age of Love – Age of Love

MCBN: If you could hit any person on the planet who would it be? Please note that answers such as “no one, I’m really not a violent person” will not be taking kindly to round these parts.

Dean: The Digital Divas … spank their bottoms with my paddle! … Maybe that Ronald MacDonald guy … what a clown!

MCBN: What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen while playing?

Dean: I’ve seen a stripper bare it all, and not even while in a strip club, but at a massive Fez street party… she was just a guest, who then proceeded to strip down and flash her va-jay-jay to the entire crowd… man, I love being a DJ

MCBN: Finally the dreaded MCBN “Would you rather…” question. So would you rather bob for apples in a barrel of rotting fish chum, or play a remix of “I’m too sexy for my shorts”, while wearing a pink tutu and no undies in a dingy gay club?

Dean: Haven’t you ever see me play at MCQP??? … For the past 5 years I’ve played “I’m too sexy for my shorts”, while wearing a pink tutu and no undies!!! It’s a real showstopper!

Well thank you kindly for your time dearest sir, we shall endeavour to participate in some dancefloor antics with you in the not-to-distant future!

Dean: Awesome… I look forward to it!

Don’t forget to check out my website (www.deanfuel.com) , and facebook fan page (www.facebook.com/deanfuel) and also make sure you tune into me every Friday night on Goodhope FM between 10pm and 11pm!

Armin Van Buuren and Dean Fuel